Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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