I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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