I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
