Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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