Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
