god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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