You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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