Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
