we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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