Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
