That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
