There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
