In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
