I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
