So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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