Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
