this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
