i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
