i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
