I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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