Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
