That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
