He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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