epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
