try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
