Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize