I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize