I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
