Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
