party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
