I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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