Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
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theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
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thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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