I must be too annoying 4 u.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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