Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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