i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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