I'm really into asian looking animals
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
