The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
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I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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