We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
