I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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