Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
