Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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