Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
