bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
