I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
