So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
