I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
