At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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