It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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