No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
