I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
birth control should be required to get into college
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
