She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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