she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
