I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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