Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
