Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
