NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
