I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
