barbara walters just said penis...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This house was built for laser tag.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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