theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
