I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
