I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
