So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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