I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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